Holy shit, it’s been two years since I left my full time job! Pretty amaze-balls.
If you’re just joining us, I worked for nearly 15 years as a cop, but thanks to finding the FI thing almost a decade ago I was able to leave my job. I’d saved and invested enough to in theory never work again, and I left the job 5 years before I vested in a pension worth over a million bucks. Thank God I did, because these past two years have been totally fucking worth it. Let’s get into how this past year has worked out.
Last year I wrote 2000 words about how the previous year had gone, and how I’d done in comparison to the goals I’ve set. Got to admit, this past year I set far fewer goals. And really, I could probably sum the whole thing up with the following anecdote:
A while ago it was my birthday. My wife, who usually works 4-6 hours a day(she used her financial position of strength to negotiate for highly flexible, mostly remote part time work she enjoys), planned on taking the whole day off to spend with me. She asked what I wanted to do for our day together. I sat and thought about that for a bit. And I came to the realization that I just wanted to do what I do most days.
And they look like this:
- Wake up after 8 hours of good sleep, meditate for a little. Do some yoga to get everything moving.
- Enjoy a cup of coffee with my wife before the kids wake up.
- Make everybody breakfast while listening to some music. Play around with the kids before they go to school.
- Take the kids to school, come home and walk around the neighborhood.
- Read or write or whatever before lunch.
- Eat lunch with my wife, occasionally going out to a nearby brunch spot.
- Workout, then go for another walk before the kids come home.
- Get the kids, make dinner.
- Eat together, then have fun with the kids. Maybe go for a walk or play video games with them.
- Watch something chill to wind down as a family; lately it’s the Great British Baking show.
- Get the kids to bed, watch Seinfeld or similar with my wife, then go to bed and read.
- Do some yoga nidra, and drift off into oblivion.
Man, just writing that makes me smile 🙂.
Just to close the loop; for my birthday we did all of that, but got some donuts and my wife and I went to a different place for lunch. Oooo, craziness!
Hell yeah.
Most days are pretty fucking great. And that about sums up how my last year went. Most days I did something like the above, with a sprinkling of something different every week to get some variety, as well as allow me to appreciate my more sedate normality.
- Most weeks I go mountain biking one morning, and sometimes I go to the big trail system all day.
- A few times a month I go get coffee or lunch with friends.
- I work part time gigs on average 10 hours a week. But it’s lumpy. Most weeks I work 2-5 hours, and every other month or so I’ll do a 60-70 hour week. I love working hard, and I love not working hard after I’ve worked hard. Then a month or so will go by, and I’ll slowly get the itch to crush it again. Masochistic fun!
Goals or something
My priorities are the same; be a good husband and father. To do this, I strive to take care of myself deliberately. This means most days I eat well, budget ample time for sleep, and work out. I also do stuff that’s fun, and make sure I’m getting some human interaction. I’ve found I’m the best version of myself if I’m not a giant stress monster, and that stuff lays the foundation for me to be healthy. On the flip side is me embracing two things:
- Being cool with good enough. For example, I try to work out 6 days a week for at least an hour a time. I don’t always do that, but even if I only hit half of that I’m pretty happy with getting what I can in. Pareto principle and whatnot.
- Not rushing. I could absolutely be getting a lot more done. But why? I like having space in my day between stuff, and it’s not like I actually need to kill it all of the time. Sure, sometimes circumstances align and I’m running around trying to get stuff squeezed in. But this is the exception, not the rule. When this happens, I go back to Number 1, and remember that most of my life is pretty chill. If anything, those occasional sprints of activity help me appreciate how good I’ve got it the rest of the time.
Case in point: I could work on this post some more, and you all know I could triple my publishing frequency and still post less than is recommended to have a “successful blog”, whatever the hell that means 🙄. The part that worked insane hours to accumulate my stash is tempted to do this. But then I remember I don’t have to, and while I enjoy writing, I enjoy it most when I’m not stressing about it. So I give myself permission to chill, go for a walk, and get back to writing when it fits in.
Yeah, stuff is not always perfect in the post full-time work life. Still struggle with the mental shit. Still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. But these past few years have given me some space, which have allowed me to better accept that now is about as good as it ever will be. I’m more okay with knowing things will always be uncertain, and that it will forever seem like there’s more to do. Internalizing this stuff is relaxing, and sometimes leads to moments of beautiful tranquility.
I’m not going to declare victory on post-FIRE weirdness, because shit is still weird. But I’m getting used to it. And it’s nice. Real fucking nice. I hope if you’re going through the same weird, you keep going. If you’re still slogging towards FIRE, yeah man…stop and smell the roses or whatever. Guess that’s what all the big FI influencers are telling you to do anyways. But it’s my humble opinion that this FI thing is still worth it, and some slog in the process puts things in perspective.
Well we got all deep there for a bit, but let’s reign it back in. It was a good year. Hoping next year is much the same. Today seems pretty great already 🙂
Lemme know what you think about all this; I’d be interested to hear how you’re doing wherever you’re at in this journey.
You’re speaking my language here. From the schedule of your days (mine are really similar, thematically if not in exact detail), to the giddiness about having FIREd and being content, to the appreciation for and comfortableness with time and space, to this: “I love working hard, and I love not working hard after I’ve worked hard. Then a month or so will go by, and I’ll slowly get the itch to crush it again. Masochistic fun!” Fantastic post.
Thanks! Glad you liked it. Feels like I’ve settled into a groove with occasional chaos.
You (and FI for the people ) are doing a good job of showing the positives of post FI and how life unfolds with it. I appreciate seeing the good side, and sometimes the struggle, to deal with thinking about my own path. The blogs that talk about how to get are great but at this stage in my life the blogs about post FI are even more fantastic.
Ironically a lot of blogs seem to disappear once people hit FI. I have been thinking about that a lot lately and I think it comes down to blogging as mental therapy to think through the steps, to convince yourself to do, and to finally jump to the other side of FI. Once they’re post FI and I to the new routine the writing about it just fades away.
A longed winded way to say I appreciate the people who continue to light the post FI path. I am not quite there but going to a reduced work schedule this summer, with more vacations piled on top of normal to get out to some FI events over the next 12 months. Then next spring I am done
Congrats on being a year out from being done. Sounds like you’re tapering down your work in a reasonable manner, which should help you ease into FI life.
I agree with what you said about the reasons behind FI blogs drifting off into nothingness. If I ever get into some other project or pursuit that takes up more of my time, I could see myself doing the same. For now though, I’m still in need of plenty of therapy, so I’ve got a few more posts to write 🙂
After reading a few of your posts, especially the rice & beans post, it’s like looking at an alternative version of my life. Even down to the birthday treat of a donut. Mediocre minds think alike to paraphrase…
I’ve been gunning it for a lot of years, but especially the last 5 years. Long story short picking up any extra shifts or call shifts and doing any night/weekend/holiday/etc… while living in my van. So I too find it a bit upsetting that the FInfluencer’s are becoming so soft in their recommendations. It’s like they have been retired for so long and market gains have been so great that they forgot how they got to where they are and just how much fun it can be to chase after something with all you’ve got. Some of my favorite memories are directly because I built deprivation/discomfort into my life in service of achieving something greater. However, the actual experience is what I value and not the end result.
I’m moving to a more flexible work role now because of my earlier hardcore attitude. Not FI, but not worrying too much about RE as work can provide some variety in life. I think the contrast of hard times/periods of stress with idleness/leisure is perhaps the most fulfilling way to live. If you haven’t yet done so you should read “A Guide to the Good Life” by Irvine. It’s about stoicism, so the title is confusing in today’s society. Also the book “Do Nothing” by Headlee did a great job of detailing the problems with modern society and its focus on productivity/work. Both books essentially state that hardship/work is desirable, but the level at which we participate in those needs to be more in balance with the other aspects that make life fulfilling.
Mediocre minds indeed, hahaha!
Stoked you’re still going hard; part of the reward is the process of itself. Doing difficult stuff just feels good. I’m jealous of the van life. I’m sure it’s not as glamorous and shiny as social media make it out to be, but the austere nature of it seems attractive. Dreaming of a similar simple lifestyle after the kids get out of the house.
I’ve read Irvine’s book, and thought it was valuable. Liked it more than other more mainstream stoicism books (which reinforces my elitism, lol). I’ll add Do Nothing to my list. Of the many things I could improve on, doing less is towards the top of this list.
Hope you find some value from other stuff on this site. Please let me know if you find anything similar out there in the internets. Rereading ERE is fun, but it’d be nice to have something different to peruse.
Sounds like you’re doing great. Your typical day sounds very busy to me, to be honest. I’m just finishing a year of being “sorta retired” and starting “really retired, I think.” My days seem very full to me, but if I had to put down what I do on a list it wouldn’t look that way to most people.
Thanks Brian. Yeah, I guess they are pretty full. I really enjoy having some big space between things I plan on doing so I’m not rushed and have free time for the inevitable stuff that pops up. Good for you on the transition to “really retired”. Think with the kids and my part time gigs, I’d only be considered “sorta retired”.
today is my birthday and i’m at work. i don’t mind and have plenty of paid time off is i chose not to work. wife asked me if i wanted to do/eat/drink anything special. my reply was “not especially, but thanks for asking.” much like you described, things are pretty a-ok just as they are.
work is so much easier when you don’t really need the money. i’m glad it’s all working out for you. simplicity is right and human interaction is necessary for most of us, even if you have to schedule it.
That‘s such a wonderful realization when your everyday is what you want on your birthday!! I smiled from ear to ear when I read your daily routine too 🙃. The sporadic intense phases make the spice of life, the nice contrast to the chill days that make them so much more enjoyable. Don’t worry too much about having to know where you want to end up (“what I want to be when I grow up“) – we’re way more than the things we do, and sometimes people make so much fuss about having to solve the happiness-of-life question that they feel miserable eternally chasing this thing called “happiness” while not noticing that it’s most importantly in how you live every moment, the only one we can influence right this second. Plus, there‘s no way your ladder could be leaning up against a wrong tree with such a nice stack of habits! I think James Clear would be be very impressed 🙂
Glad you liked it! So right about trying to live in the moment, and giving up on the chase of happiness. Chasing some elusive moment in the future only makes us miss the present.
You know, I still haven’t read Atomic Habits. I keep hearing it’s great, though I never seem to get around to reading it. I’ve never been naturally good at much, except for one thing: starting and keeping habits I want, and dropping the ones I don’t. Years ago I sort of stumbled upon a process that worked for me. Maybe I should read that book to give this process some words. Though right now I’d rather catch up on Star Wars fan fiction and Upton Sinclair…..🙂
Your daily routine is and should be the envy of everyone. It’s even relaxing to read. And the not rushing thing is huge, yet I still struggle with it. I’m only semi-retired of course but I feel I have a lot of work to do in that arena
Thanks Dave! The not rushing is the crucial part, and I’m nowhere near perfect at it. Some days I find myself rushing around, catch myself, and ask why am I doing this? Then I take a breath and chill out. Old habits die hard and all that.
Your comment got me thinking…back when I was working, I did all the same self-care stuff; meditation, working out, yoga, etc. But then it was merely a coping mechanism to deal with a stressful job. My only other choice to deal was to turn to alcohol, and I’d been down that road. Not doing that again.
I’m really glad I didn’t wait until I was retired to build those practices. The routine has kept me moored during the weird initial phase of leaving my job, and now I get to enjoy them instead of grinding through it all.
Hope you continue to improve on your quest to take things at a more relaxed pace. Given what you’ve already accomplished, you’ll probably be the chillest guy on the East Coast if you decide to.
I would love to have a schedule like yours. Sounds like you’ve got your routine down. When I read about people who are miserable or ‘bored’ in retirement, it’s usually because they don’t have a routine down. I like that your schedule isn’t filled with trying to save the world and cram in a bunch of stuff. It’s built around your kids, which is admirable. I know for sure when I pull the plug I’ll have to find a solid program to live my life to. I’m such a type A person that I have to do something to keep my mind busy or I get too restless. Anyway, good read, thanks for the peek into the promised land.
Thanks Noel. Of course after you say that, I guess I’ve decided to try and save the world again, lol. Having the routine is helpful, and I also like taking the occasional break from it (usually weekends and holidays), to bring some regularity to my life. I hear you on the type A stuff; the nice thing about having space is that I’ve been able to cool that down a bit. As I get into other projects, I want to make sure I maintain my current level of chill. Looking forward to you getting some more control over your time.