So begins a multi part series(no idea how many; making this up as I go along) about some tough shit that I’ve learned from. This series is inspired by the Kevin Smith book by the same name. If you haven’t read it, go pick it up. I’m not some huge Kevin Smith fan, and had no idea what he’s been up to as of late until recently, but man, that book is good. Some good life lessons, and I learned as much as I laughed. Heard about said book from those guys over at Mile High FI, that Doug dude recommended the audio book which I can’t agree with more. It’s narrated by Kevin, who throws in random anecdotes as he reads his book which aren’t in the original. This Kevin guy had me crying, laughing, and thinking critically about my life all within the first five minutes.
Anyways, now I’m going to hit you with some qualifiers. Look, I know my life has been altogether pretty peachy, especially as viewed through the lens of history or even just what goes on outside my little niche of society. I’m not going to start flagellating myself like that bald monk from that Davicini code book/movie in the name of the P word, but believe me you, I know that I’ve got it relatively good. I’ve lived with the locals in a couple of third world countries, and have spent much of my career in the most impoverished neighborhoods of the inner city, so I think I somewhat get it. All that said, I’ve been through some tough shit, learned from it, and think it has helped me in my journey. Maybe it can help you in yours; as they say a smart guy learns from his mistakes, but a wise dude learns from the mistakes of others. Be the wise person.
For the first installment, I’m not even going to talk about tough shit I went through, but some tough shit I saw someone close to me deal with. Here goes:
When I was like 12 or so, a sibling went through bankruptcy. It was super fucked up to watch, as this sibling was pretty close to me. Both our parents had worked, and because this sibling was significantly older than me, they had done a good amount of raising me before setting off on their own. By the time I was 10, the sibling was married and had a young kid. Both partners in that relationship were working full time just to make ends meet, which was informative to watch of its own right. It seemed like that though both put in way over the standard 40, they still couldn’t afford all of the nice shit that I was surrounded with growing up. Nothing too crazy, but I grew up in a nice subdivision, our family had new middle range cars, and we ate out regularly. Meanwhile my sibling’s family was living in an apartment complex that was not super awesome, they drove absolute base model cars, and fast food made up much of their diet.
Then shit went south. Turned out my sibling had been paying for a lot of their stuff on credit cards, and hadn’t been paying them off. This was explained to me by my parents, which was quite the weird experience. At the time I had a small savings account where I’d deposit the occasional holiday cash gift and earnings from mowing lawns, and would use the money to maybe buy a video game. The idea that there existed this thing which allowed you to buy things for a while without actually paying for it blew my mind. My parents explained that you could wait to pay for stuff, but would owe more than you initially paid. This made no sense to me. I distinctly remember asking why you just wouldn’t save up enough cash to buy the thing you wanted. This wasn’t answered very well, but later realized that much of what my sibling purchased was just stuff like food. They didn’t know how to save money for occasional lumpy expenses, and quickly spiraled into a sinking hole of debt.
Shit got bad for my sibling. Divorce was on the table, and my parents explained that they might be moving back in for a time. Again, I just couldn’t comprehend this stuff. What was going to happen to their apartment and all of their stuff, and their kid’s stuff? They told me since my sibling owed money, all that stuff would get taken away. Even their kid’s stuff? Yes son, even their kid’s stuff. Looking back, I don’t know how much of that came to pass, but it scared me good. My parents were stressed, and I could tell they felt like my sibling had failed. My sibling was even more stressed, and I watched them break down a few times during that whole period. The possibilities of all that would be lost were daunting. I swore then and there that I would never touch the evil that was the credit card, and I would always make sure that I had more money than I needed to pay for everything in my life. Like some damn Ramseyian neophyte who had seen the hell fire which debt could reign, and had sworn abstinence(travel rewards took back my purity ring. Sorry not sorry Dave).
Ultimately my sibling didn’t get divorced, but declared bankruptcy. They buckled down, tightened the belt, and probably utilized a few other aphorisms. They haven’t had any issues since, but I remember for years following that whole thing it was unpleasant for them to try and purchase a house and move to a better area. So goes some tough shit. Frankly, if I hadn’t seen all of that go down, who knows where I’d be. Maybe like everyone else; plugging away with debt up to my eyeballs with no end in sight. Yeah, discovering this whole FIRE thing and other tough shit along the way were great. But let’s face it, watching that crap roll before I even had access to a real job primed me to easily swallow the gospel according to Pete and friends. I was lucky for such experience, and the true debt I’m in is to my sibling, who indirectly made my life better at the expense of their own peril.
Stay tuned for other installments of this series, where I expound on stupidity like being a bodyguard for a total dickhead, not so sexy times undercover, and other such ridiculousness!
