4 Week FIRE update

Looking at that calendar thing, it’s been 4 weeks since I left my job. Figured I’d fire off a quick update as to the happenings as of late.

My wife got sick last weekend, then was in intense training all this week, and then got sick again this weekend. I’ve been in near full on single parenting mode much of this time, hence less than perfect posting frequency around here. I won’t try and dress it up; taking care of my two kids more than normal isn’t exactly the relaxing retirement life. Increasing child care responsibilities 2X will do that. My wife is amazing, and even in her over taxed state has tried to give me a hand when she can. While feverish and miserable, she still grabbed both kiddos yesterday so I could meet up with the local mountain bike group for a few hours of trail maintenance. Hauling big slabs of rock around frozen forest was a nice break.

Though I haven’t been chilling and enjoying a stress free existent these past few days, I know this would suck way more if I still had a full time job. Keeping that in mind doesn’t make unicorns and rainbow magically appear, but it does keep things in perspective. Perspective isn’t some cure all though. I want to keep this place honest, as I’ve read many blogs that describe the FIRE life as some perfect existence. This past week or so I’ve been at times frustrated, angry, and feeling like I’m losing my grip on sanity. I know there’s millions of single parents who do this while working, all day, everyday. Knowing this and trying to keep it in mind as I try not to lose my shit is not some cure all. There have been times where I’ve longed for the simplicity of the days where the only worries I had were people trying to kill me.

As I write this, I’m reminded of Liz over at Frugalwoods describing her writing process as akin to get it in while she can between the crazy. Right now my two kids happen to have camped out in the room I’m writing in, and are ramming each other with the plastic vehicles they’re piloting. Not exactly a serene cloud from which to write from, but at least they’re not trying to bludgeon each other or screaming they’re lungs out.

In other news, I embarked on the 60 minutes of meditation for 60 days challenge a few weeks ago. I’m 19 days in so far. I’m grateful to finally have the time to do this. One of the main purposes of my doing this is to get some clarity on what I’d like to do with this retirement/min-retirement, or whatever it ends up being. To that end I nerded out and created a google form that tracks my mood and thoughts after each session. Can’t wait to report in on that!

I also spent like $4K on my first full suspension mountain bike a few weeks ago. This still seems pretty crazy to me, but I’ve been planning and saving for this for over two years. Sort of my retirement gift to myself. I have some regret for spending so much, but then I remember why I got into mountain biking. Years ago I had gone too far down the frugality spectrum and passed into deprivation. Sure, it supercharged my FIRE efforts, but the resulting stress and lack of happiness was not worth it. Realizing this, I deliberately chose a hobby I could do locally, frequently, and was comparably less expensive than others, but gave myself permission to actually spend some money on it. I now try to 80/20 my optimization and frugality in many things, including my hobbies, with the goal of settling on good enough. I see giving myself permission to spend so much money on a bicycle as a personal achievement given my normal heavy resistance to spend anything. The stressed out background noise in my head constantly reminds me this is a once in 3-4 year large purchase, so I don’t think I’m at much risk of falling into normal consumerism.

Finally, my wife and I had an amazing afternoon a few days ago, in between her completing her training and getting sick. We went out for Korean, then walked over to our favorite coffee house with a quick stop to a french bakery for delicious croissants in between. We don’t indulge in such lavishness regularly, but I really enjoyed spending time with my favorite person for a relaxing Friday afternoon. I try to keep this in mind when my kids are both melting down in my arms, and remember I’ve probably got many such similar better days to look forward to.

There’s plenty more I could go into, and I know I still have to wrap up that PTSD series. But right now my 18 month old daughter is brushing her hair with her toothbrush, attempting to eat her hair comb, all while balancing precariously on a stool. I should probably jump back in there.