Good Stuff

Some positive things about retiring early and being totally fucking awesome.

As you know, after a few years of marinating in financial independence, I finally pulled the trigger on retiring early this year. Since then I’ve mostly been writing about the negative aspects of what has happened after. This was partially because of some circumstances beyond our control. As the months have gone by, I also realize that much of my negaitvity surrounding the whole thing are me getting caught in old habits, as well as finally having the space to truly confront some past trauma.

But there’s a couple of other reasons I’ve accentuated the negative:

1. It’s been cathartic.
2. I’ve read too many blogs where all the post FI stuff is made out to be unicorns fucking rainbows. I want to provide an honest account of what I’m going through in the hopes that it helps you if you’re going through the same thing so you know you’re not alone.I also hope to help those of you out there who are planning on FIRE’ing, and think you may be similar to me, so you can prep for the negative aspects.

With all that said, I thought I should let you know it’s not all depression, anxiety, and suckage on the immediate post-FI front. In fact there’s plenty of awesome shit.

I thought about this the other morning; years ago I adopted the habit of starting and finishing my day by listing 5 good things that happened, or just good stuff about my life in general. Did this after reading research which suggests regular gratitude practice is correlated with increased happiness data data blah blahhhh… The practice has been better than nothing; I think my default mode is to be a slightly morose motherfucker, and this twice daily habit has reliably moved my normal operating level of happiness from a 4 to a 6 out of 10. That ain’t bad!

It’s been pretty easy to find some good shit about my day or life since I’ve bounced from work. Like I’ll get to 5, and most of the time I’ll think of another 2-3 to throw in there too. While I was working there were days where it was a struggle to find five. Yeah, most days it wasn’t hard. It’s always easy to list some low hanging fruit like a healthy family, living in a developed country, not being in debt, owning my house free and clear, no one actively trying to kill me or persecute my family, living in the age of antibiotics and anesthesia, etc . But some days, between sleep deprivation and working a job whose primary purpose is to deal with the negative side of humanity so others don’t have to, it was hard to get to five. Or at least I’d list some general shit like the above, and though I knew I should appreciate them I sure didn’t feel it. On days when people tried to kill me, I’d be thankful I was alive, but that was balanced with the knowledge that I’d be working the next day and again venturing into the unknown. During the riots, when intel suggested belligerents were targeting our families and I personally knew coworkers whose houses were shot up(even though they weren’t involved in any questionable incidents-later investigation showed they’d been targeted because “we knew a cop lived there”), it was hard to get that gratitude feeling going.

But that’s all in the past. Let’s get to the now, and dial up the happy.

There are some days now, when I wake up, I feel like snow motherfucking white singing my way awake while birds pull me happily along in my blanky.

No shit. I’m serious. Every single morning, you know what the number one thought that immediately pops into my head when I ask myself what I’m thankful for? I’m retired.

Let’s get into the specifics, as in what this early retirement (or maybe sabbatical, mini-retirement, walkabout, or whatever) has enabled me to do that is totally fucking awesome.

1. Sleep. Yeah. It’s still a work in progress. But more nights than not I’m getting a solid seven, if not more. There are nights where the kids get me up, or my nightmares do, and I can’t get back to sleep. But you know what? When you don’t have a job, it’s pretty easy to squeeze in a nap to compensate for the lost sleep.
2. Time with wife. Look, there’s like maybe 5 people who actually read this blog, two of which are bots from China, and one of which is my wife. So the rest of you might think I’m just pandering(which does not mean to turn into a panda, though that would have been way cooler. Thanks dictionary for ruining that one). But I assure you I am not. I actually married someone I really like to spend time with, who is also my best friend. We now get to eat uninterrupted lunches at least a few times a week, and we regularly go out for coffee just because. It’s freaking amazing. I really really like having ample free time to just sit down and talk with my wife.
3. Time with kids. Though they frequently drive me nuts, they’re my second most favorite people to spend time with right after my wife. It’s really cool. Having plenty of free time with them doesn’t mean every second is beautiful hallmark movie level joy, but it does increase the amount of time in there that cool stuff spontaneously happens. I felt like going for a walk last night, and my daughter wanted to come with. We took a spin around the neighborhood, and it was super fun watching her get excited about all of the christmas decorations that everyone put up. My son and I have pillow fights on the reg. It’s hilarious and I love to hear him get caught in uncontrollable giggles.
4. Doing cool shit. It can be hard to lament that I’m not keeping up with the FI Joneses. I don’t live in a cool state where you can walk everywhere and you’re surrounded by beaches and/or mountains. I haven’t spent a month in some chic AirBnB in the Maldives or whatever. But I have gotten to do more cool shit in the last ten months than I have in years. So far:
   • Week long backpacking trip with friends
   • Did two mountain bike races, and one mountain bike festival
   • Rode four new to me trail systems, two of which being out of state, one of which being five states away
   • Spent a weekend away with just my wife
   • Hiked in the dessert
   • Drove side by side, got air while blasting through dessert
   • Started learning Kung Fu
   • Watched all of Andor
   • Learned to shoot a bow and arrow, then went bowhunting for a weekend

Look, most of these I could have done while working. But I sure as hell couldn’t have done all of them in ten months; it would have taken me years to squeeze in all of the above. And what’s better is the associated stress level.

Lets take the mountain bike races. Last year I did one race. And I was super stressed out surrounding the whole event. Working late shift and having a morning start time for the race didn’t help. But what really sucked was knowing that in the few hours I had off I was choosing to do something that took me away from my wife and kids, and therefore my wife had to take care of both of them by herself. I knew it was important to do something fun for just me, but that didn’t prevent me from feeling guilty.

Now? I did two races this year, and didn’t feel stressed out at all. I now get to spend so much time with my family that it’s not a big deal for me to be gone occasionally. And as I’m doing much more of the kid stuff, I don’t feel like I’m leaving my wife hanging when I’m out. Last year I drug myself out of bed to hit the race, having stressed out and prepped all of my stuff the night before. Then I hit the race, and hurried home to help my wife with the kids. When I was working night shift she took care of the kids every morning by herself so I could sleep, so I wanted try to minimize the amount of extra childcare I was saddling her with by being away as little as possible.

This year? The night before the race I found something wrong with my bike’s dropper post, and I spent an hour and a half fixing it. I wasn’t really stressed about it, as I knew I had plenty of time, and worse case I have a back up bike now. I then woke up at my normal time, had breakfast with the kids and meandered around the house for a bit. Finally decided to drive to the race, and even got there early to hang out. Hit the race, had a blast, and then stuck around afterwards for awhile just to shoot the shit with some fellow racers. Didn’t feel the pressure to rush home, because now the childcare is much more equally distributed, with my having a larger share since my wife still works part time and I’m not doing much. Me being gone for a few hours is no longer a big deal. Finally headed home, and still had plenty of time to get cleaned up before making dinner. Then vs now? Now is fucking awesome. Thanks FIRE.

Yeah, retirement is pretty awesome. Sure, I’m still struggling with the identity thing, and getting used to the stay at home parent life. It’s not a constant rainbow-unicorn orgy, for sure. But you know what? There sure are a hell of a lot more unicorns joyfully prancing about rainbows than when I was working.

How about you? Are you FIRE’d, and on balance happier now than whilst working? Is that a stupid question? Lemme know!