Almost there…

Last time I talked about how I was planning on turning in my letter of resignation; well, I did it! TL;DR, it went way better than expected and I’ve been riding a high almost a week after turning it in.

Here’s how it went down.

On Saturday, I emailed my boss to request an in person meeting on Monday. He rogered up, and we set a time for when he was working and I was off, as I work lates. He didn’t ask what the meeting was about. I stressed about all the things up until Monday afternoon when we met. It’s weird to think about how much I stressed about a situation that had very little downside. I mean at this point, even if my boss had flipped out it wouldn’t have really mattered. I’d still be leaving, and ultimately I hold all of the cards, because there’s nothing I actually want from my employer. In fact, as outlined in my letter of resignation, I was essentially hooking them up by giving them a super long four months notice thus allowing them plenty of time to get things rolling on a replacement. Sure, the extra four months of pay are nice, but it will maybe increase my net worth by one percent. So why was I so stressed? I think ultimately it was I was worried that I’d lose my nerve and call the whole thing off. I know leaving is the right thing to do, and will be best for me both immediately and in the long term. That said, as I’ve blathered on plenty, I’m scared of the change and associated uncertainty. Pretty sure that’s where my stress was coming from.

To help deal with that stress, I did what I always do when I’m about to say words to people. I rehearsed the fuck out of what I was going to say (thanks liberal arts speech com degree). So that’s what I did all day Saturday and Sunday. I developed my talking points, and my response to likely questions. I’d lead in with Thanks for meeting me, I wanted to do this in person because I at least owe you that much. You’ve done a lot to help me develop my career over the years, and gave me opportunities that others would kill for. I’m sorry, as I know we agreed I’d try to stay in this position for at least three years, but I’m retiring.

After that, I figured he’d ask me why I was doing such a thing, especially since I’m not vested in our pension and would be leaving six years before I did. So I came up with a three pronged answer:

One-I’m in a position where I no longer need paid work (I teach a class at work about Financial Independence, and am infamous for bringing austere meals in everyday, driving a used prius, and living in a modest house -this is probably not a surprise to anyone).

Two-There’s other stuff I want to pursue that doesn’t involve working here. I want to be a stay at home dad, especially while our kids are still young and before school encompasses their entire lives. I want to really pour myself into writing, data,  and I want to see if I can get into something that applies the analytical side of my brain.

Three-I don’t want to keep working here. Since hitting hardcore burnout over three years ago, I’ve bounced around different positions, and objectively I’m in the easiest gig I’ve ever had. Despite this, I still hate coming into work, and get no satisfaction from it.

Then I planned to sum it up with:

Ultimately, I don’t want to work here, I don’t need to be here, and there’s other stuff I’d rather be doing. So why would I stay?

I predicted I may have to elaborate on any of these three points, which I was more than prepared to do as I’ve literally spent almost a decade flushing them out. Though I was stressed about the looming meeting, after rehearsing all of this about 3000 times in 48 hours, I at least felt prepared.

Then what really happened….

I walked into my boss’s office on Monday, said my little intro spiel. Thanks for meeting me, I wanted to do this in person…blah blah blah….I’m retiring, and handed him my letter of resignation.

My boss smiled.

He asked if I was close to vesting in the pension, I was like nahhh.

Then he said something to the effect of “I’d ask you if you’ve thought about this, bu iif I know you, you’ve more than thought this through. I figured it’d be something like this. That’s awesome, I’m happy for you.”

He asked if everything was OK at home(yes it is, but will be way better when I’m gone!), but other than that, no further questions. I didn’t even get into my three part justification, which was more than fine with me (felt a little preachy). We spent the next half hour BS’ing, during which we shared our dissatisfaction with various aspects of the job and our plans for the future. It was great. My boss said he’d try to find a replacement as soon as possible, of which I emphatically supported. I’d love to not work the next four months.

I left there feeling great, and my wife says I haven’t come down yet. I told my coworkers that night when I went in for my shift, and they were mostly shocked but pretty positive. That’s a whole other story that maybe I’ll get into another time.

Three days later, my boss called me. I’d gotten a few calls and texts from friends on the job wanting to confirm the rumor that I was leaving, but not many. Apparently my boss has gotten over 20 calls from various people inquiring about my departure. He expressed his incredulousness, as everyone asked “why would he want to leave this place?” but then would launch into the standard tirade of rants complaining about all aspects of the job. My boss then said “finally I realized the best way to sum it up to these people- I just tell them he doesn’t have to be here, and he doesn’t want to be here, so why would he stay?” Ha! Spot on. It’s like he almost got my three pronged justification, of which I never told him, purely by inference. Not mind blowing deduction, but it was amusing to hear someone arrive at the same conclusion I’d hit months ago.

As many others probably could have guessed, I have one regret about this whole thing-I wish I was leaving sooner. I can already tell that these four months are going to drag on. That said, I’m glad this is out in the open, and it’s such a relief to not feel like I’m hiding something while at work. I still have totally irrational stress that I’ll somehow lose my nerve and beg for my job back. This seems stupid, but it’s now at least crushed down somewhat by the social pressure of following through with what I’ve told everyone. In a weird way that seems to help.

Now it’s time to grind it out for four more months. Constantly asking google how many days I have left until my retirement date doesn’t seem to help, but it’s kind of fun too. Here we go. Just a little bit more.