Clearly this blog has hit rock bottom. Will we be able to dig even deeper? Read my first listicle and find out!
Ok, so first things first. This is a purely sarcastic post, in response to Dave’s most recent TGIF post over at Accidental FIRE. If you didn’t catch it, you totally should. I love Dave’s TGIF series, and the quotes he throws in for email subscribers are worth it by themselves. Anyways, in this latest TGIF Dave rightly pointed out that “…all the disingenuous bloggers will write their “30 cool gifts” posts chock full of affiliate links for things they’ve never owned and thus cannot really vouch for“
Immediately, I thought,“Hey!! I could be one of those disingenuous bloggers!!!”
There’s a lot of stuff going on in my life right now, and I’ve even had a few thoughts some of you might find interesting. But I throw down like a hundred some dollars every year to host this place, and I worked for years doing weird shit, all so I could do whatever I want. What’s the point if I can’t have a little fun?
And that’s how we just entered the listicle world. Here come some disclaimers:
- I live with a couple cats. I have bought them exactly zero of the following things linked. Presently the cats are nowhere to be found, so I couldn’t ask them what they think. They’ve either snubbed me for creating such an exploitative post, are napping, or forgot that I’ve existed.
- The Bezos decrees that I warn you that all the links in this post are affiliate links. On the off chance you actually buy any of this crap, I get paid. That said, I chuck whatever’s left over after taxes at this charity.
- I didn’t even search for this stuff; the below list was created by our friendly, helpful AI overlord. I’m sure it’s of great quality, and we all can’t wait until Skynet is running the show. (Really hoping I get into one of the good places in the Matrix)
- Originally this was going to be a list of 30 things. I got pretty bored around 7, so I stopped at 10.
10 Spooktacular Halloween Treats for Your Feline Friend:
- Jack O Lantern Catnip Interactive Cat Toy
- Halloween Cat Collar with Bow Tie and Bell
- Halloween-Themed Cat Food Toppers
- Halloween-Themed Cat Bowls
- Shameless Pets Celebration Birthday Crunchy Cat Treats
- Adjustable Handmade Cat Halloween Outfit
- Gothic Cat Tree with Coffin Cat Bed
- Halloween Cat Scratcher with Spider Toy
- 1000 Piece Halloween Cat Puzzle
- Motion Activate Chirping Cat Toy-Halloween Version!!
Don’t worry, we’ll get back to our irregularly scheduled blog posts eventually. Maybe I’ll finally describe why I’m going to grad school to be a therapist, or maybe I’ll tell you about how I took a small plane to a deserted island last week. Or not. We shall see. 😉
I would literally buy my cat anything she wants, but she doesn’t want anything other than chicken pâté. There’s definitely blog post potential in the financial habits of cats. Here’s are topics the overlord suggests for your next ten blog posts:
1. “Feline Finances: Mastering Your Budget with Cat-Like Precision”
2. “Purrfect Investments: What Cats Can Teach You About Smart Saving”
3. “9 Lives, 9 Savings Strategies: The Cat’s Guide to Financial Freedom”
4. “The Meow-nificent Budget: How to Manage Your Money with a Cat’s Wisdom”
5. “Paw-sitive Returns: Why Cats Always Know Where to Invest”
6. “Financial Independence is Just a Nap Away: Cats on Wealth-Building”
7. “Scratch the Surface: How to Save Like a Cat Preparing for the Future”
8. “Whisker-Wise Spending: How Cats Keep Their Expenses in Check”
9. “Clawing Back Debt: A Cat’s Strategy for Financial Recovery”
10. “Curiosity Didn’t Kill the Cat’s Savings: Embrace Curiosity in Your Financial Planning”
Ha! The cats definitely model contentment with minimal need of consumption. I like the one about naps.
Financial Freedom, A CAT’S TAIL: How I went from homeless to living in style with two passive incomes, a house with full staff, and gourmet meals without sacrificing naps and self-care.