Social. Work?

I guess I’m doing this now.

I know what I’m doing next. Maybe. We’ll see. But I for sure I know what I’m doing right now, which is…writing this post:

As frequent readers will know, I sorta retired over two years ago from an all encompassing job that sucked my soul dry but was occasionally a helluva lotta fun. Thanks to saving a shit ton, then spray and praying thems moneys at the stock market for over a decade, I was able to leave. Everything was immediately perfect puppies and sunshine; commence sailing off into the sunset.

Not really, of course. 

But things were better. Much better. But ten-ish months after turning in my gun and badge, something became clear. I actually missed helping people. As my spirit animal is Dean Winchester, I had previously channeled my love for humanity by trying to step between the (mostly)innocent and those that are less innocent. Thus I went back to a part time executive protection gig which gave me a little bit of that. It’s been good. It’s enough tto make me feel more one with society, and the social aspect is nice too.

But I didn’t get to FI without looking ahead and optimizing. 

Things that suck about Executive Protection:

-Lack of rigorous intellectual stimulation. The planning/logistics piece can be a good mental challenge, but even my last job didn’t scratch this itch. Pursuing knowledge for funnsies doesn’t really do it for me; I like having a practical application. Grad school was great at satisfying this need, especially since my studies were applicable to the job.

-I can’t do it forever. My ability to physically fight people diminishes every day. I could put the work in to train MMA again, but I’m not willing to sacrifice lifetime mobility for maybe another 3-5 years of being able to fight good. Parachuting and heavy rucking was fun (not really), but my joints are pretty fucked from this. Yoga and longevity focused exercise has helped delay knee and hip replacements, but returning to MMA would do the opposite. No thanks. Respectable gunfighting proficiency is attainable into at least the mid-sixties, and is much lower impact. However confrontations that end with bullets are much less frequent than those that can be solved with a few elbows. And you really don’t want to mix those up.

-The hours. Our clients are secure during business hours. They need protection when they’re at big events, or out in the public. This generally happens at night and on weekends. One of the big reasons I left cop work was because I was constantly working nights and weekends. Now I only do it a few times a month. But I would prefer to do absolutely none of that. Especially if I’m looking forward a few decades. 

So, looking ahead, this EP thing has maybe 5-10 years left. What do I do then?

Purpose.

Okay, everyone’s talking purpose these days. I resonate somewhat with this guy’s post about how this has possibly been pushed too hard. I don’t think purpose is everything, but knowing what provides me fulfillment has been huge in making my life more enjoyable. 

A life where I do leisure activities all day, even if they’re physically and mentally challenging, sounds like hell to me. I recall many a good week early in retirement with plenty of mountain biking, reading, naps, getting coffee with friends, playing with the kids…all the stuff I wanted to do. It was very satisfying, but something felt off. At one point I thought, “if I’m just doing the same stuff ten years from now, I’ll be miserable”. Once I sprinkled in a little EP work though, days of leisure have been much more enjoyable. Maybe this is just me. 

If anything, I’ve been spoiled. Many of my jobs have involved helping others; being a lifeguard, teaching snowboarding, soldier, then cop. By pure chance and thanks to amazing training provided by others, I’ve gotten to actually save people’s lives. The bad part is that after having experienced this, doing stuff which has no chance of helping someone just doesn’t provide the same level of satisfaction. I’m not some pure altruist here; helping others is something I do out of complete self-interest. Please know that I don’t look down upon those that have never worked in such a field; if anything, I’m jealous. Living a life of leisure would likely be much simpler if I’d never done the drug that is serving others. That ship has sailed for me, and having done All. The. Therapy. I’ve learned to accept this dimension of my self.

Enter Mimetic Desire 

So I was talking to this guy a few months ago. 

After years as a cop and soldier, he took a hard left turn and became a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW). Basically he’s a therapist that works with soldiers who are having issues, and connects them with services to get them help. He told me what he did on the day to day (1), what he had to do to become a LCSW (2), and the opportunities in the field (3). 

1.The day to day is pretty self-explanatory: talk to people, figure out what’s going on, try to steer them towards something that will work. Since I started down my own road to improve my mental health, I’ve had countless conversations that were a very unstructured version of this for others. This has been hugely fulfilling. The only thing I don’t like is I’m currently figuring shit as I go along. Some structured education would be nice. 

2. Becoming a LCSW is a long road. Gotta get a Masters in Social Work, during which you do 900 clinical hours and focus on learning about all things mental health. After graduation you gotta do 1500 hours of clinical work under the supervision of a LCSW, then pass some test. I really enjoyed grad school the first time around, maybe I’ll like it again? Being a super weirdo, I enjoy reading reams of journal articles on mental health and psychology. More of this sounds like fun! Most LCSWs cite the low pay while amassing clinical hours as the worst part of the education phase. Thanks to FIRE, I’m fortunate that this is a non-issue.

3. The opportunities are quite unreal. There’s a major shortage of therapist, and the field is expected to grow by like 16% in the next 5 years. On top of that, there are very few men in the field. This is a problem because many men and some women prefer a male therapist, but they are super hard to find. Also, part-time work is a big thing, and so is remote work since teletherapy has become so popular. You mean I could help people again, in a way that’s in demand? Plus I could do the all the education and subsequent work part-time, thus leaving me space to focus on the fam and my own stress management. 

Immediately after talking with that dude, I was like “guess I’m doing that now”. But hey, I know me, and my tendency to fall into shiny object syndrome. I’ll be super interested in something (real estate, freelance writing, government contracting, octopuses, etc.), learn a bunch about it, and then a few days later not really give a shit as my attention shifts to the next new thing. So I chilled a bit, meditated, and learned as much as could while awaiting my interest to drop off. A month went by, and I accepted that this was something different. Thus I applied to my local Masters of Social Work (MSW) program, and got accepted. I start in January.  

No Cherished Outcomes

Having lived for more than a minute, it’s become stupid clear that any plan I have inevitably changes. There are a bunch of reasons why therapists are in high demand, somewhat because of stress and burnout. Digging deeper into this, much of this seems to be because of crap compensation, which causes therapist to try to work crazy hours. This is further exacerbated by therapists tending to be do-gooders who feel they have to constantly go out of their way to help others, thus working even more stupid long hours. Hopefully my fortunate economic decoupling from work, and having burned myself out due to similar reasons, will allow me to stick to my boundaries.

Also I might get into this and realize I hate it. Which could happen at any point in what will likely be a six year journey to becoming a LCSW. My current stated plan is to sit with the discontent for a bit, and see if my lack of comfort is due to temporary bumps in the road, or a sign of a deeper misalignment. Thanks again FIRE; if it’s the later I’ll fucking bounce. Sunk cost will be a motherfucker to beat, but let’s hope for the best. 

The goal for this whole thing is to enjoy the ride; all of it. The school, the studying. The unpaid clinicals during school, and the shitty paid clinicals after. Aside from working as a therapist, there’s about a million other high demand but shit paid opportunities to help people for those that have a MSW. Right now being a therapist sounds like a great way for me to continue to struggle in a fulfilling way, and to maybe make the world suck a little less. But maybe I’ll run into something that turns into a better fit along the way. Who knows. I sure don’t.

So that’s it.

I think I found something I’ll be doing for awhile. Maybe until the kids get out of school. Maybe until I can’t do it anymore. Maybe for like 10 more months. Whatever. But since having started down this new path, it’s sure felt nice to have a direction. Maybe it’s just the institutionalized part of me. These last few years I’ve gotten to learn a lot more about myself than I thought possible. It’s been amazing. This blog has helped, and you readers have helped more. One thing I’ve learned is that I am most fulfilled when I get to fight for others. Perhaps this is a new, less physically taxing way for me to do that. And if I’m wrong, there’s always cephalopods.